HMOs

At this point I do not feel human. My HMO basically told all my doctors to not give me narcotic pain medications anymore - they sent every doctor I have seen in the past so many months. I feel nonhuman. I feel demoralize, disrespected, labelled as a drug seeker. I just want pain relief, I do not abuse them, I do not do anything I am not supposed. I take them as directed - I am beyond any point I have ever felt before. Thankfully my PCP is sending me to a new pain doctor hopefully I won't get Cymbalta stuffed down my thoart again. I am also considering seeing a rhumeotolgist. I really wish I didn't have to go through this, but what scares me more is that I am NOT alone there are so many people who have to go through hoops to get the care they need. I really am beginning to find the meaning in my life - and possibly a career. I am considering becoming a disability lawyer or dealing with patient advocacy on a higher level than just the hospital. I really feel that chronic patients are ignored, almost left to die or left to the point to want to die. I feel that this is so wrong. I feel that we have the technology, the ability to help these patients live near to normal lives. I do not expect to live a normal life, but I want to function as much as possible. I want to be able to feel like the 21 year old that I am at least once a month twice to thrice a month would be GREAT. Sigh, I just really needed to vent. I apologize for the long breaks between posts.

- Fawn Le May